As I visited my mom today, her eyes were closed. The past couple of weeks, my mom seems to be coming to the close of her life here with me. She is still eating, so her mouth is at least open. Her food is now pureed for easier swallowing. I go to spend time with my mom, not that she is aware of my presence, but simply to be with her. I speak into her ear, "Mom, it is OK for you to go. You made me strong. I will be alright. Hug Daddy, David and Grandma for me when you see them". The truth is, I don't know if this is her time or nearly her time to depart a life of unawareness and related inabilities that come with the latter stages of dementia. I do know, that this is not the life I would choose for mom, nor is it the life she would desire to have. However, for reasons I cannot see, it is a slice of the life God has planned for her now.
Her caregivers meet her daily needs, just as she did for her own mother and many other women whom she cared for in her home after her retirement from the government. Her friend, Wilma, is her constant companion, watching over her, worrying about her and being there with her. Wilma also has a type of dementia but can still walk, feed herself and hear.
As I am praying for God's peace for my mom as she slips further from earth and closer to heaven and into her new life free from confusion, I have to admit a yearning to hold her close.
Mother's Day just past. I was born a few days before Mother's Day 60+ years ago! The bond with my mother has been and continues to be a strong one. So God, hold my mom close as she draws near to You. I am thankful for Your love for her, for choosing her to be my mom and for the confidence of knowing that I will see her again fully whole and happy in Your Presence. Amen.
