Sunday, August 29, 2010

Something to Think About


The Poet, Christina Rossetti said, “Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.”
As I was reading this quote last week in a novel, I couldn't help but think of my mom. During her lifetime, she has had her share of sorrow. I think the hardest thing my mom had to live through was the death of my brother, her only son, in 1996. Even though, mom and her siblings were abandoned by their father when she was just 6 years old, the trauma of losing my brother was far, far greater. It is my thinking that she began to suffer from depression, which can be a part of dementia, from the death of her beloved son. My brother's name was David, which means "beloved." Many times as I was growing up, I thought that mom loved David more. I guess I had the Tommy Smothers' feeling of "Mom loved you best", as he would banter with his brother Dick on TV. David looked like mom, he had the leadership qualities she still has and he was a quick thinker,just like mom!
Now that mom has dementia, she doesn't remember that David is gone. She will ask me where David is. Rather than tell her that he died, which would be a very cruel thing, I tell her, "He is at home." This is true, as he is in his heavenly home.
Then she will smile. I know that she is happy and content at this stage of her life. I have often prayed that God would take mom to heaven so that she will not have to go through the very last stage of this disease. God is in control of the days we spend here on earth and I know that He will take her to be with Him at the PERFECT time and not one second before. I don't understand from my perspective why God would allow her to continue to live with so much confusion, but I have learned that that is not my concern. He has His reasons which may or may not be revealed to me when I get to heaven.
So when I read that quote, I smiled. It gave me comfort to know that mom is happy. Dementia may not be such a bad thing. She doesn't remember any of the things in her life that has caused her pain.
Sometimes I think about what I may be like when I get to be her age. Will I be lucid like my father or will I have dementia like my mom? Someone whose mom also has dementia asked me if I was worried about getting it. I told her no. I do worry about a lot of stuff, but dementia is not one of them. There is a test that is being developed to determine whether a person will get this disease. Why would anyone want to know? The theory is so that the person can plan for their future care. Since God is in control of all of my care, then no test is needed. :)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Life

On Wednesday, I held the hand of a friend who was at the end of her life on earth and about an hour later, held a brand new baby about 12 hours old. One was ready to enter her heavenly home and the other one was just beginning her journey in her new world. When I woke up on Wednesday morning, I had no idea that I would be saying goodbye to an old friend and hello to a new one. God controls life's every detail, of this I am certain.
Today, my old friend entered her eternal home and is free from any pain or discomfort.
I know she would want us to have joy as we should at this time. Although her husband and son will miss her more than we can imagine, they are sure of her comfort at this moment.
I have another friend who is torn apart as his wife just left him with their precious little girl. My heart is torn for them. However, God is The God who mends.
Although I have never had a broken bone in my life, I am told that the bone is stronger after it heals. May my friend who is broken right now, be stronger because of this difficult time.
God truly does work all things together for our good. May we know this truth constantly.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Travelin' Days








































Johnny Cash sings, "I been everywhere, man...". The month of July was that kind of month for me. First, I spent a few glorious days in south Florida. After a must stop at Robert IS Here Fruitstand in Homestead, FL for their amazingly scrumptious Keylime milkshakes. My husband and I continued on to Key Largo and points further south. I experienced my first snorkeling adventure. Even saw a scorpion fish hanging out on the bottom of the water. Fortunately, my niece was with me and her hand signals implored me to stay away. The fish really looked like a rusty, multicolored rock, so I probably would have reached out and touched it. The second new experience was deep sea fishing. I caught 4 snappers and ate them along with the other fish my kinfolk caught for dinner that night.
The next stop was to see our daughter and son-in-law in Georgia. They have a lovely townhome and the area where they live is so pleasant. Even though they are further away from us now, I am thrilled that they are in a lovely and less-trafficy town. They have super neighbors and I think they feel very happy in their new place.
After a brief stop at home to wash clothes and repack, I was off to the Pacific Northwest to visit my niece, nephew and sister-in-law. As Perry Como and Bobby Sherman have sung, "The bluest skies you've ever seen are in Seattle...". I found this to be true! So to the top of the Space Needle, to Pikes Place Market, to a Mariners' Baseball game,to a boat tour of Lake Washington, to a stroll through a folksy german village in the Cascade Mountains and to a shopping mall in Bellevue, I had a full week of fun things to do.

When I took the red-eye home last week, I and the other passengers looked like zombies walking around the Atlanta airport to catch the next flight to our final destinations.

I think I am finally over jetlag. I am so glad to be back in my own bed and plan to stay home.... at least for this month. I do have a traveling bone or two in my body.